Mommy's breast milk tastes yucky.

When your husband has to leave town due to a family emergency and you announce in your Facebook status that you have "prepared for five days alone with the children by going to the grocery store and stocking up on wine." POMK.

Postscript: That in the amount of time it took me to write this entry, 2 additional people have "liked" this status, bringing the total "likes" count to 7 in the span of less than an hour since the status update was posted. POMK again.

Not subtle enough.

When you set out on the town to have a lovely, romantic engagement photoshoot and your backdrop of choice is a giant phallic symbol. POMK.

I prefer "rasberry" pie, personally.

When poor enunciation causes someone to believe that pumpkin is literally spelled "pumkin"—especially when that person has an English degree from an Ivy League university AND a J.D. Not only does this make me want to puke on various electronics, but all over your precious pie as well. POMK.

Maybe you should have spent less time on Facebook.

Stay-at-home parents who spend more time updating their Facebook statuses to tell the world what bad parents they are than they spend actually parenting their children. I fail to see how posting that you're in the hospital with yet another sick child or that you are "feeling like the worst parent in the world right now" is at all constructive, unless you think that your mommy group friends turning their backs on their children to get on their computers and reassure you that you're not a bad parent somehow magically makes you a better parent after all. Here's some advice: It doesn't.

Even if one of those friends posts a novella-length anecdotal response about how she accidentally dropped her daughter onto the ground head-first that concludes with "I'm gonna call the child protective services and turn myself in now". POMK.

Your stork must have brought you a bag of douche.

When I found out about the birth of my new nephew-in-law via the omni-presence of an uninvolved relative on my Facebook news feed. Way to steal the new parents' thunder on that one. POMK.