Behold! The other wrong kind of English major

When you respond to friends who sent you birthday wishes on your Facebook wall by posting the most pompous status possible, sarcastically attributing your gratitude instead to "Facebook's infallible memory singly". These people meant well, so it was completely unnecessary for you to be such a dick, or to throw some hack-job rip off of T.S. Eliot's use of "you and I" in their faces. We'll see how "fondly remembered and well-wished" you are next year. POMK.

Too bad you'll be turning OLD for the rest of your life.

When I take time out of my busy day to hand-draw you an adorable, very personal, electronic birthday card and you show your appreciation by accusing me of copyright infringement. Oh wait, scratch the part about appreciation, because not once did you ever actually thank me. POMK.