Now my keyboard and my brain need to be cleansed.

When a person uses Facebook as a vehicle to "complain" about the fact that showering with her husband saves neither water nor time and both her mother-in-law and my weird ex "like" it and then proceed to comment upon how great marital showering is. POMK.

Submitted by Élise Dashiell.

Other synonyms: twit, tosser, douche nozzle

When you tweet cryptically about some yuppie-ass software so that you can feed your superiority complex despite how your already being renowned on the "interwebz" for your douchebaggery is bad enough. This is only COMPOUNDED by the fact that said program/software/who-gives-a-shit is entitled "Git." I don't know what "Git" does, nor do I care, but the fact that the WALKING DEFINITION of a "git" (git n. A pubescent kid who thinks it's totally cool to act like a moron on the Internet, only because no one can actually reach through the screen and punch their lights out.) wrote a tweet with multiple uses of the word brings the circle of irony to completion. POMK.

Submitted by Élise Dashiell.

Internal Memo: I vote in the negative.

When law students sign their name with "J.D. Candidate" pretending like they need to do something more than pay money to get their degrees. PhD candidates need to make significant contributions to a field before they get their diploma. JD students only need to attend class. Good thing, otherwise your JD "candidacy" would never end. Quit trying to find respect where it doesn't exist. I'm sorry you suck at life, but it isn't cute when you beg. POMK.

Submitted by Matthew Pawn.