I suggest you take your fingers out of your Harvard-drop-out ass.

The new Facebook "Suggestions" section, in which Facebook highlights one of my "friends" and points out that the two of us "haven't talked on Facebook lately" so I should poke him/her. Not only is it sickening that Facebook thinks it has any authority on whom I should be poking in my personal life, but the feature usually reminds me of people I despise, whom I have only stayed Facebook "friends" with so I can keep tabs on how shitty their lives are compared to mine. POMK.


  1. I shudder when I think that my picture and the words "Poke Her" are appearing on anyone's homepage, much less on the homepages of people I don't like.

  2. After studying this for several days, I have discovered that the friend suggestions are both male and female, but the poke suggestions are always for members of the opposite sex only, BECAUSE THE FACEBOOK DEVELOPERS ARE HOMOPHOBIC ASSHOLES.

  3. Hahaha now there is a "Help make Facebook better for him" subtitle below the suggested friends name, and above "write on his wall". I know what that means. This particular friend rarely signs on Facebook, so Facebook wants me to write on his wall to draw him back to the service. Nice one, Mark Z.

    Also, Ella, that is ridiculous. I need to keep my eye on the pokes too. According to hearsay, they're a pack of misogynists over at FB headquarters. I know we're not supposed to believe hearsay, but sorry, I do.